Have you ever been plagued with doubts about whether you and your partner are truly meant to be?
Do repetitive arguments or misunderstandings leave you questioning the foundation of your marriage?
Even the most loving, dedicated couples I work with have struggled with some version of these questions:
👉 Are we fundamentally mismatched?
👉 Am I foolish to expect or hope for more from my partner?
👉 Are we just too different to “get” each other?
And most importantly:
👉 Can we love each other as deeply now as we did in the beginning?
Sound like something you’ve experienced?
Well, the answer to the last question is a resounding YES!
I truly believe you can nurture and enjoy a love that’s even deeper and more satisfying than it was in the beginning - EVEN IF:
😅 You get stuck in exhausting power-struggles,
😅 You're harboring resentments towards each other
😅 You’re feeling discouraged, unappreciated or lonely.
Why?
Because I’ve seen it happen countless times for the couples I’ve supported and because:
✨ Your unconscious has a secret plan for you!
While “good chemistry”, attraction and charm are super important - you were most likely drawn to your partner specifically because he or she shares some of the same unconscious dilemmas and conflicts you have.
You might unconsciously both feel torn about your desire for freedom and fun vs. responsibility and obligation; or maybe deep down you’re conflicted about how independent or reliant on each other you should be.
We’re all unconsciously drawn to people who remind us of our hopes and heartbreak in our earliest relationships, because 🔥 our unconscious wants us to revisit painful patterns, in the hopes we’ll get to re-work or master them in our adult intimate relationship! 🔥
Next time you experience these doubts, or have a moment where the connection in your relationship feels deprived, take it as an opportunity to dig deeper, and consider what childhood patterns you and your partner still struggle with, that you can work past together.