Do you ever get triggered when your partner sits down on the couch to scroll through Facebook or Instagram?
Or perhaps your spouse gets *really comfortable* and lays down on said couch, which makes your blood boil?
Maybe your kids are finally asleep (for the time being) but now the sink is overflowing with dishes, the floor’s still covered with rice (your toddler really tried to use a spoon).
You haven’t had a chance to catch your breath, let alone go to the bathroom since the kids’ bedtime and you’re all too aware that you’ll need to muster all the energy you’ve got to get through what’s in store for tomorrow.
Sound familiar?
I’ve probably heard over 20 different versions of the scenario I just described from my clients and many of my friends in the past 30 days alone.
And, I’ve been there myself.
6-7 years ago I would get powerfully triggered when my husband would head outdoors for his 2 hour training runs in the middle of the winter..
The truth is, my husband WAS sensitive. He would voice his intention to go running after he had cooked a meal, cleaned half the house and changed a bunch of diapers. But I STILL remember thinking:
Can’t he see that I desperately need a break too?
It’s never going to be my turn to take care of myself
I can’t even get myself to a yoga class once a month, and my husband’s training for another marathon? No clue how he does it and I live with him!!!
Thankfully, even back then I was aware that my husband had something I desperately wanted but couldn’t give myself.
I knew I had a tendency to override my own needs, especially when everyone else’s needs were so pressing and imminent.
My husband was showing me EXACTLY what I needed and he’s slowly taught me how to be responsive to others without abandoning myself.
The point of my story is, I believe that feeling triggered is likely saying more about YOU than it does about your partner.