Have you ever felt angry, frustrated, anxious, or triggered, and struggled to identify the root cause of your feelings?
Or has your partner ever ‘blown up’ at you for something that seemed miniscule or completely unrelated to what you were talking about?
Both of these scenarios are perfect opportunities to consider how you/your partner’s childhood impacts the way your relationship is navigated.
Our first experiences of love & pain with our mother and father lay the foundation for what we later assume and expect in our close relationships.
Relational neuropsychology and infant development research have taught us that the early, moment-to-moment interactions between baby and caregiver literally spur the baby’s developing brain to grow new neural pathways.
Our earliest interactions with our mother and father imprinted us with fundamental lessons about who we are at our core and what it takes to successfully navigate relationships (including, our relationship with ourselves!).
However, even the most well intentioned and resourceful parent will frustrate us and inevitably disappoint us, simply because they are human and cannot possibly live up to our idealized, fantasized version of an ideal perfect parent.
The pain of growing up often entails making peace with the parents we had (celebrating all they gave and grieving what they couldn’t offer us).
When I work with my clients, I help them identify the anger that’s being triggered by their childhood, so that they can see the situation with their partner through fresh eyes.
Have questions about this topic? Feel free to send me a message. ❤️
And if you’d like to learn to be a more loving, attentive partner, but find yourself falling back into destructive patterns despite your best intentions, then be sure to follow my Instagram page!