The moment in your relationship that counts the most…
✨ The way you treat your partner when you’re upset counts the most! ✨
In the heat of the moment, your reaction can either add to your partner’s sense of being misunderstood, unimportant, or abandoned [just when your significant other’s feeling vulnerable],
Your ‘come-from’ energy can create a safe space for both of you to reality-check your assumptions & underlying beliefs and modify them, so they better reflect each of your true intentions.
Transforming blame into curiosity lets your partner know it’s safe to have BIG feelings, while staying connected with you.
The neurobiology of relationships teaches us that when we’re in distress, the longer we wait to offer or receive comfort, the more likely we are to experience a melt-down or ‘tantrum’ and the harder it is to re-establish our equilibrium.
Our nervous system goes into fight-flight-or-freeze mode and our neocortex (which controls our impulses and bestows us with good judgment) literally goes off-line….
If this feels familiar, don’t fret. 😮💨
It’s completely human to have this response during conflict with a person you love and depend on.
The two most important things to remember, to prevent fight-flight-or-freeze mode a.k.a. Emotional outbursts, is:
Be self-aware. Consider what is truly upsetting you and how your reaction is going to affect your partner.
Look at the big picture. Consider what you want to accomplish through having a conversation with your partner, and act in alignment with the outcome that’s best for both of you.
I would love to hear which aspect of this email you found most helpful!