Do you ever have the sinking feeling that even though “nothing is wrong” your marriage could feel so much more exciting and satisfying?
Or you might even be comfortable, but you know you’re losing the zest and passion you once felt in your relationship and that’s heartbreaking for you?
My clients Dawn and Sarah (not their real names) felt the same way in their 10 year relationship. They seemed to have it all - a beautiful family, a supportive community of friends, an active social life, similar parenting styles, and meaningful careers. But, they both felt lonely, numb to each other and their attraction to each other was suffering.
Even though they hardly ever argued they had gradually withdrawn from each other and neither one of them was feeling appreciated or inspired in their relationship. Dawn was terrified of repeating the same patterns she saw in her parents’ marriage as a little girl, a marriage that lacked passion and felt depressing to her.
Sarah remembers secretly asking herself questions like: “Is this all there is? Is this all that I have to look forward to for the rest of my life?”
During our work together, it became clear that although no one would have guessed, Dawn and Sarah both held deep, long-standing resentments towards each other and the situation they were in.
They were able to uncover the ways they were both unknowingly contributing to the disconnection they were so upset about. And, they were relieved to discover that they were each fighting for connection in their own way, even though they seemed not to need each other.
Now, Dawn & Sarah trust that their frustrations are gateways to their true needs and can actually keep their relationship real and alive.
Here is what they had to say about the shifts they experienced after working together:
“We’re no longer afraid to be open and honest with each other. Rather than brewing in resentment because we’re so worried about triggering each other, we can now be direct about what we want, without putting each other down. It’s such a relief and we’ve never felt closer or more free in our relationship.”
Take a deep breath and imagine the possibilities for your relationship. If you and your partner expressed your genuine affection and appreciation more often, what would that do for you?
What would change if you felt more secure and more fulfilled in your marriage?
What would be different about the way you parent?
Contact me today to work together to make similar shifts happen in your own relationship.