Is it frustrating and hurtful to you when you’re disappointed, yet your partner seems unfazed? Maybe your mate grows even more indifferent, the more upset you become?
Do you find yourself angrily demanding that your partner hear you out, only to end up feeling even more alone afterwards?
Or possibly feeling so disillusioned and spiteful that a powerful urge to push your partner away comes over you?
In my practice, I worked with a couple navigating this same challenge. And our work together allowed them to bring new awareness to the underlying hidden dynamics and unconscious agreements that were fueling their power-struggles.
👉 They were finally able to recognize that they actually shared the same underlying fear of losing their connection (but had very different strategies for dealing with it).
👉 Instead of seeing each other as the “enemy” and feeling like the only option they had was either to FIGHT or SUBMIT, they softened their criticism and became more vulnerable with each other.
👉 NOW, they take a stand for each other (without abandoning themselves).
👉 They make requests of each other, instead of putting each other down.
👉 Their disagreements are a lot less damaging and they are able to recover from them a lot faster.
If you’ve ever found yourself reflexively repeating the same disappointing patterns with your partner and feeling hopeless or stuck, listen closely:
Becoming conscious of your relationship dynamics and honoring their origins is the first step towards understanding why your reactions feel so automatic & visceral; why your intimate relationship often feels it’s in “replay mode”,
AND… How you can expand beyond your previously limiting assumptions, so you can create new and exciting possibilities with your partner! ♥